Saturday, 19 November 2011

Is it time to panic?

The serious jitters are beginning to set in as the clock ticks down to my move to Rome. 10 days to lift-off.

Friends are pressing me to meet for farewell drinks and dinners, and as lovely as it is to see everyone, I've relocated too many times to enjoy the goodbye ceremonies. Besides, they only add to jitters.

What the hell am I doing?

This is what I keep asking myself, as I watch my bank account shrink, my suitcases swell, and the shorter, colder days make me want to just curl up with a hot drink.

Time, I think, to review what my master plan is. When I take my eye off my goals, I can get very muddled.

1. I want to learn Italian.
2. I want to experience life in another culture, especially the Italian culture.
3. My fiction writing needs some inspiration.
4. I need an adventure; I've become very stale and dull and I am bored with myself.
5. I want a life that's a broader and wider; I'm tired of the North American consumer culture.
6. I want to be surrounded by art.

I need to select my thoughts much, much more carefully. Less attention to what might go wrong and all the things that will happen to me and for me.

Fortunately, I have done most of the major preparations for this move. I have an apartment rented in Rome and have enrolled in a language school. I’ve already set-up Internet banking; I’ve ordered several refills on prescriptions; I’m avoiding sharp objects. I have dinner plans in Rome my first full day there.

I even intend to reduce my wine consumption. Some day. I’m sincere about this.

But beyond that, I’m incapable of imagining. What will I do my first weekend in Rome? I don’t know. Buy groceries? Go to Vatican museums? Wander the streets, dazed? Sit in the Forum? Go for a coffee?



jan said...

you seem to be telling yourself all the right things. One more: being nervous is a normal part of it.

Palma said...

All change is stressful, but you ARE beginning an adventure, and a dream (one you share with many of us)!


Jane said...

Sandra, I can't wait for you to be there. It is going to be so much fun to read all about your adventure. I'm curious---what are your first night dinner plans.

Kathryn said...

I'm pretty sure moving eliminates 1, 2, 4, 5 and 6. So get cracking on the re-writes! Definitely don't worry about what might go wrong. You won't predict it and you'll be able to handle it. Big hugs and we're here to help if you need something. Just ask. :-)

Trekcapri said...

Hi Sandra, your post reminded me of those times when I've made some life changing decisions and they were so difficult and filled with uncertaintity. When I reflect back to them I realize now that they were all the right decisions. I'm sure that you will too.

That's great that all of your major preparations are done. You know the prescriptions are important. I brought an extra asthma inhaler with me just in case and good thing because I lost one of them on the plane ride over. I had a spare in my carry-on. I made sure to put all my important meds in my carry-on and not my check in. Whenever you feel that panic feeling, take some deep breaths and think of all the wonderful experiences ahead of you and the people in your life who care and support you.

The Vatican Museums, sitting at a cafe and sipping a cup of Italian coffee, wander the streets of Rome, buy groceries, sounds like all wonderful things to do for a first weekend.

Rome awaits you....and me too. :)

sandrac said...

Hi Jan, thanks for the reminder!

Palma, I love the BGWW motto!

Jane, I'm having dinner with Trekcapri, who is ending her Amalfi vacation in Rome! It's going to be great.

Kathryn, your support really means a lot to me. It is foolish to worry about what might go wrong. I do it, I think, because I have the lame idea I won't be surprised can then prepare for anything. But that's just impossible.

Anne said...

Ah, pre-life-changing-event-jitters...I know 'em well! If helps, my panic abated once I made the leap, and discovered that my new path is every bit as fulfilling and amazing as I dreamed it would be. Worst case imagined scenarios were replaced with best case reality! I hope the same will be true for you.

Zerlina said...

Do you know this Rome blog?

I think you might have more in common with its author than with some of the other Rome bloggers who are part of a somewhat incestuous mutual-admiration society of expats.

Otherwise, I'd suggest that you try not to sweat the small stuff. You've taken care of the big stuff; the small stuff will fall into place. Perhaps not without the occasional hiccup - even people who have lived in Rome all their lives experience them - but I doubt that you will find them insurmountable.

nancyhol said...

As the others have said, it is natural to be nervous - this is a big life-changing event.

It reminds me of the movie (and play) "Shirley Valentine" where she changed her whole life with a move to Greece.

We will all be there with you in spirit.

sandrac said...

Hi Kathy, I'm glad you had a spare inhaler -- those are important. I'm really enjoying following your trip, and I'll see you in Rome next week!

Thanks, Anne, for that reassurance. I'm so glad to hear that your leap of faith is going so well. My faith is sputtering a bit just now, but I'm confident that in a week or two, things will look so much more positive.

Thanks, Zerlina, for that link! I hadn't seen that blog before and it looks very interesting, with informative content for readers interested in current affairs rather than simply how to use the bus in Rome. There's a need for that sort of visitors' information of course; but some travelers and ex-pats are ready for more!

Nancy, I appreciate your support and I'm glad to have you along for my adventure!

Susie L said...

Sandra, you would not be human if you were not at least a little anxious about this move.

Regarding your first week in Rome, yes, everything you have listed plus gelato!

Anonymous said...

You are doing one of those wonderful things that so few of us actually do - living your dreams. for most of us our passion gets shunted away and we drudge through life thinking 'what if I had just done this . . . or that'. I am envious of the fact that you know!

I think that you may have a problem with the wine consumption though - hard to cut back in a country where wine is less expensive than water.

Annie said...

I'd be freaking out too, but as others have said, it will all fall into place once you're there!